“Tingkaben”
Tingkaben is traditional ceremony
salvation to the unborn baby aged seven months in Central Kalimantan. It
was called “ Seventh Monthly” in general. This culture is happen when there is
a married couple birth nine times but none of them alive. And then how to
procession of Tingkaben? Firstly, spray carried by elders and husband with read
Al-fatihah, Al-ikhlas, Al-falaq, An-nas three times and ayat kursi seven times.
Secondly, replace clothing ceremony conducted by the type of fabric
as much as seven pieces with different
motifs to wear choose the best in the hope that one day the baby also
has the virtues implicit in the symbol of the fabric. Next, the
feast as a celebration,
there some offerings which usually need to be
prepared. Finally, the ceremony dragged mat for
the fist time out of the house, it has the intention that easy baby in the
birth. Why do you think Tingkaben different with other culture? Because only exist when the women is
pregnant seventh monthly and different the step with other culture. In
conclusion, Tradition Tingkaben is a gratitude to Allah SWT above gave child
who healthy.
fabric
: cloth
feast
: gratitude
offerings
: obeisance
dragged
mat : Attractive mat
I think you are wrong in writing the name tingkaben. because I just know tingkeban
BalasHapus1. I think your topic sentence is not correctly, because it’s too specific. You can make topic sentence like “Tingkeban or Seventh Montly is traditional ceremony in Central Kalimantan.” Or “Central Kalimantan has a traditional ceremony that was called Tingkeban or Seventh Montly.”
2. Your supporting sentences also a little strange. You can change with :
• “This is a salvation tradition where a mom have the unborn baby aged seven months”. And you can add minor “The tradition is happen because there are a couples who have birth nine times but none of them alive.”
• “Tingkeban is usually done in several steps.” You can add Minor “first, spray carried by elders and husband with read Al-fatihah, Al-ikhlas, Al-falaq, An-nas three times and ayat kursi seven times.... second.... finnal...”
• “the tradition is different with the others culture”. You can add Minor “Because, the tradition only exist when the women is pregnant seventh monthly and different the step with other cultur.”
3. For the concluding you can change “tingkeban is a tradition to ask Allah SWT for maternal and child health at birth.”
maybe just it and I apologize if I'm wrong of the comments. because I'm just an ordinary person whose not perfect. Happy writing and good luck .
I just give a few examples , and i hope you can develop from the example which I given.
1.Parts of paragraph
BalasHapus-That was completed parts.
-I have a suggestion for your Topic Sentence “Tingkeban is a traditional salvation ceremonial in Central Kalimantan for the unborn baby who aged seven month”
-The topic was mentioning the topic of the paragraph about.
-That was good enough controlling idea.
2.Supporting Sentences
-I think you should add a supporting sentence to make it better like:
a.The purpose of the ceremony
1)To pray for the salvation of the unborn baby
2)To gratitude to Allah SWT who gave the healthy for the unborn baby
-About your another supporting sentence, you should remove the sentence “And then how to procession of Tingkeban?” to be “There are some step of the ceremony, are: first…….” It make your sentence clear for the coherence of the paragraph.
3.Concluding Sentence
I think your concluding sentence do not refers to your topic, because your wrote “Tingkaben is traditional ceremony salvation to the unborn baby aged seven months in Central Kalimantan.” And your conclusion “In conclusion, Tradition Tingkaben is a gratitude to Allah SWT above gave child who healthy.” Look at the topic sentence, you said “the unborn baby” but at your conclusion you said “who gave child health” it’s looks like the baby was born. I suggest you to make it like “In conclusion, the Tingkeban tradition do to ask for the safety of the unborn baby”
4.I think you made a great decision to used “In conclusion”.
1. Topic Sentence
BalasHapusIt's correctly and suitable with the content.
2. Supporting Sentence
It's correctly, but you should pay attention with the punctuation and the structure. First, you should gives a punctuation in the sentences that are too long. The example : "Secondly, replace clothing ceremony..." and "...out of the house, it has...". It's better if you puts a punctuation like "...choose the best. The hope of the event that one day..." and "...the house. It has...". Second, you should pay attention about the structure. The example : "...as a celebration, there some...". It's better if you gives to be after the subject like "..., there are some..."
3. Concluding Sentence
It's correctly and based on the paragraph, but i think you should change some words in the sentence. It becomes "In conclusion, Tingkaben is a gratitude to Allah SWT that gave a healthy child."
4. Paragraph Coherence
It's a paragraph coherence and used transitional signal in the paragraph like firts, second, next and finally.